The Unfolding Quest of Self-Awareness

Being self-aware can be both a gift and sometimes a challenge!

Knowing and understanding ourselves is critical to being most effective and positively influential at work (and home). It is a challenge because we can become fixated on the negatives and let our inner critic take control leading to excessive overthinking.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on the development of self-awareness lately, as I am increasingly being asked about this part of our professional and personal development.

The unfolding process of self-awareness is more than a mere journey—it’s an essential quest.

It is about delving deep, understanding our very essence—our emotions, motives, biases, and desires. It involves a deep level of personal responsibility taking, a commitment to knowing and understanding ourselves, our shadow and our triggers while finding ways to accept our humanity.

A commitment to self-awareness is important for us all, but especially when we have the privilege of supporting and leading others.

We all have blind-spots, and it is our commitment and prioritising of self-awareness and self-reflection throughout our lives that is key.

The unfolding journey can be riddled with obstacles, that can distract us from the necessary work of taking a neutral perspective and learn and grow at deeper levels.

These obstacles include:

‘Attention out’ vs ‘attention in’

We live and work in a world that demands our intense attention. The demands from our personal and professional lives can be relentless. For those of us who are parents or have other caring roles, we are expected to work like we don’t have those responsibilities and parent like we don’t work. We can become so ‘attention out’ that we become really disconnected from ourselves, and almost abandon ourselves.

Societal expectations

Another obstacle is the invisible hold of societal expectations. Like wearing a suit tailored for someone else, we can find ourselves playing roles, moulding ourselves to fit in with others, in ways that may not align or even betray who we truly are. For those in caring and nurturing roles, this may mean putting others’ needs ahead of their own, over-functioning for others and under-functioning for ourselves.

Emotional turbulence

Then there’s the storm of emotions, reactions and triggers we can all experience at times. When we are experiencing heightened emotions, they can be overwhelming and even cloud our self-perception. For those working in emotionally charged environments, such as health care, this can add layers of emotions, even trauma and moral injury, to our self-awareness process.

Lack of reflective moments

In the context of demanding workloads and a focus on achievement of KPIs, carving out time for introspection can feel like a rare luxury. Like finding a tranquil oasis in a bustling city, the constant demand of everyday life leaves little room for quiet reflection. Even when we have a quiet moment, our smart devices have multiple ways to seduce our attention away from self-reflection.

Lack of quality feedback

Feedback is a vital mirror for self-reflection, but navigating this can be tricky. Limited or skewed feedback can create a distorted self-image, impeding the journey towards true self-awareness. Most of us are unnecessarily harsh in our self-criticism. This skew towards the negative can result in limiting our capacity to provide quality and balanced feedback to ourselves and others.

Unconscious bias

Understanding our biases enhances self-awareness by making us conscious of our automatic thought patterns and preconceived notions, which often influence our decisions and interactions without our realisation. This awareness allows us to question and adjust our automatic responses, leading to be more thoughtful and inclusive.

What steps do you take each day to build self-awareness?

It’s invaluable to have a commitment and a set of practices or steps that support greater self-awareness. We can do this individually as well as at a team level.

One of the teams I’m currently working with shared that they were reflecting on a set of gratitude cards each week. They allocate 10 – 15 minutes every Friday to each share something they were grateful for. Practices like this, embed a culture of both self-reflection and team cohesion – a great win-win.

Steps to build greater self-awareness

Foster a nurturing environment: Let’s create a culture where reflection is not just encouraged but celebrated—a team or workplace where growth and self-understanding are integral.

Master emotional intelligence: By learning to navigate our emotions with grace and understanding, we can see ourselves more clearly.

Build a feedback culture: Encourage an environment where honest, constructive feedback is the norm, paving the way for true personal growth.

Commit to understanding diversity and differences: Explore and embrace the rich tapestry of diversity and different cultural perspectives. Regular participation in diversity and inclusion workshops can provide insights into common biases and their impact, fostering greater self-awareness and understanding. This is a set and forget, it is something important to come back to. We benefit from seeing differences as enriching, not diminishing, which in turn enhances our understanding of the world and ourselves.

Build mindfulness habits: Engage in practices that ground us in the present, allowing us to connect more deeply with our inner narrative. Mindfulness, journaling, voice memos and expressive art are simple ways to be present to our own experience. Stepping away from our phones, social media and being with our own thoughts is very helpful.

Reflect on common unconscious biases

To bring unconscious biases to the fore, we can engage in reflective practices like journaling or feedback sessions, which help identify patterns in our thoughts and decisions that may indicate biases.

Applying strategies that foster introspection, emotional clarity, and a deeper understanding of our diverse world, allows us to not only enhance our self-awareness but also enrich the experiences of those we support.

As you will often hear me saying, it’s a journey of lifelong learning, where each step brings us closer to the nuances of our own being and that of the world around us.

So, what steps can you take each week to progress your self-awareness quest?