Do you avoid giving feedback?

I’m in the midst of orienting a new staff member, and it has made me think a lot about how we will learn to give feedback to each other.

Feedback can be hard. Learning to build a relationship that can navigate feedback takes time, attention, self-awareness, self-reflection, and personal responsibility.

Employing people who are committed to their own growth and learning and are willing to be open to feedback is critical. I so often hear from the leaders I work with, that one of the most challenging aspects of their roles is giving and receiving feedback.

No doubt we are all committed to growth and development and yet, conversations that could be so useful to support learning, remain so uncomfortable and awkward.

Do you tend to avoid giving feedback?

If you are like most people I speak with, this is very common.

Although we recognise that in the realm of professional development, feedback is an invaluable tool, it is also tricky and uncomfortable.

We know that feedback is essential as it not only fosters growth and improvement but also strengthens workplace relationships and enhances team dynamics. However, giving truly helpful and empowering feedback can be a challenging task. It requires a blend of honesty, empathy, and a deep understanding of individual needs and contexts.

In this article, we'll explore some common barriers to providing effective feedback and conclude with three practical tips that can help us refine our feedback skills.

What are the barriers to effective feedback

1. Fear of Negative Reactions: Often, the apprehension about how the receiver may react to feedback can hinder open and honest communication. Concerns about causing offence or demotivation or inadvertently shaming someone, can lead to feedback being diluted or avoided altogether. We can worry that the feedback will go beyond being uncomfortable to even causing damage to the relationship or the person feeling shamed and devalued.

2. Lack of Specifics: Vague feedback can be confusing and unhelpful. Without specific examples or clear direction, it's difficult for us to understand what we need to improve or continue doing well. Although it really helps if we can focus on what skills or insights the feedback receiver needs to learn and develop, sometimes articulating those it difficult. It is also easier to state what we don’t want, rather than what we do want.

3. Timing and Environment: Poorly timed feedback or feedback given in an inappropriate setting can be damaging. Feedback given too late after an event is unhelpful. Feedback given in a public space is toxic, psychologically unsafe and counterproductive.

4. One-Way Communication: When feedback is delivered as a monologue rather than a dialogue, it’s a lecture not a constructive conversation. This approach fails to engage the feedback receiver and can lead to misunderstandings.

5. Cultural and Personal Biases: Unconscious biases can colour the feedback given, affecting its relevance and fairness. Cultural misunderstandings can also lead to feedback being misinterpreted or poorly received.

6. Lack of Training in Feedback Delivery: Without proper training or understanding of effective feedback techniques, even well-intentioned feedback can be misdelivered and received negatively.

Tips for Better Feedback

1. Give positive feedback: If your colleagues recognise that you have a good appreciation of their skills, strengths, the value, and contributions they make, as well as the potential you see in them, they will be far more likely to want your perspectives on their learning opportunities.

2. Don’t give them the ‘shit’ sandwich: Giving someone constructive feedback sandwiched between two positives is so formulaic and inauthentic. If you are really committed to your colleagues’ professional development, you will regularly be giving them specific positive feedback as above in point 1.

3. Foster openness and trust: Build relationships where feedback is seen as a positive and normal part of growth. I said to my new staff member today that the only silly questions are the ones she is not asking! She loved that and wrote it down.

4. Invite feedback yourself – this can be a gamechanger in building openness and trust. I often send emails to my team, acknowledging the mistakes and errors I make, laughing at myself, as well as acknowledging all the skills where they are far more advanced than me. This ensures that feedback is a two-way street, helps reduce the fear and promotes a more receptive attitude.

5. Be Specific and Actionable: Use specific examples and focus on observable behaviours rather than personal traits. This specificity helps the feedback receiver understand exactly what actions or behaviours need to be changed or continued. Also, provide actionable steps or solutions rather than just pointing out areas of improvement.

6. Practice Empathy and Active Listening: Understand the feedback receiver's perspective and tailor your feedback accordingly. Be empathetic to their feelings and receptive to their responses. Active listening during feedback conversations shows respect and acknowledgement of the receiver's viewpoints, fostering a more empowering and productive feedback experience.

Overcoming the barriers to providing effective feedback is crucial in creating a supportive and productive work environment. By focusing on these key areas and incorporating the tips provided, you can transform your feedback from just a managerial task to a powerful tool for empowerment and growth. Remember, the goal of feedback is not just to inform but to inspire and enable individuals to realise their full potential.

Our next feedback masterclass is Monday 19th February – still a few days to register!