From Criticism to Curiosity: How Questions Can Transform Leadership

A Conversation That Changed Everything

Maddie dreaded her weekly check-ins with her manager, Luke. Every meeting felt like an interrogation. “Why is this taking so long?” “What went wrong here?” Maddie often left these conversations frustrated and unsure of how to improve.

One week, Luke surprised her. Instead of jumping straight into critiques, he asked, “What’s been going well for you this week?” Maddie paused, then shared a recent win of which she was proud. Luke followed up with, “What’s one thing that’s been holding you back, and how can I help?”

That simple shift—from focusing on problems to exploring solutions—changed the dynamic completely. Maddie started to see Luke as a partner in her success, not just a critic. Her engagement grew, and their conversations became a place for ideas and collaboration rather than blame.

Why Supportive and Reflective Questions Are Leadership Gold

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about knowing how to ask the right questions. When you ask thoughtful, solution-focused questions, you’re not just managing your team—you’re empowering them.

The questions you ask set the tone. Are you creating space for reflection, curiosity and collaboration, or are you unintentionally putting people on the defensive? Above-the-line questions (those that explore and build) help people thrive. Below-the-line questions (those that criticise or assign blame) make people retreat.

The Power of Curiosity Over Criticism

The human brain is wired to respond to tone and intention. When questions feel like attacks, they activate the stress response—employees go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. But when questions are framed with curiosity, they light up the brain’s problem-solving centres, unlocking creativity and engagement.

A simple shift in how you ask questions can make all the difference.

How to Shift from Criticism to Curiosity

This isn’t about sugar-coating tough conversations - it’s about reframing them so they lead to solutions instead of shutdowns.

• Curiosity Builds Bridges

  Instead of saying, “Why did you miss the deadline?” try asking, “What got in the way, and how can we adjust for next time?”

  It’s not about ignoring problems—it’s about working together to solve them.

• Focus on What’s Working

  Before diving into what’s wrong, ask, “What’s been going well for you this week?” It sets a positive tone and opens the door for a balanced conversation.

• Make It a Dialogue

  Leadership isn’t a one-way street. Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think is the best way forward?” It shows that you value your team’s input and ideas.

The Everyday Impact of Better Questions

When Luke shifted how he spoke to Maddie, it wasn’t a grand leadership overhaul. It was small, intentional tweaks to his language that showed he cared about her growth and perspective. The result? Maddie felt empowered, not criticised.

Imagine what would happen if every leader took a similar approach. Teams would feel more supported, engaged, and motivated to bring their best ideas forward.

The Next Question You Ask Matters

The next time you’re about to ask a question, pause. Ask yourself: “Am I being curious or critical?” A small change in phrasing could unlock a big change in your team’s performance and trust.

Because great leadership isn’t about interrogation—it’s about exploration.

How can I help?

Many leaders are often promoted into leadership roles due to their clinical expertise, and may lack awareness about evidence-based leadership principles and leadership frameworks.

If you are a woman in the health sector looking to develop your self leadership skills and become a more empowered professional my Self Leadership - Women in Health one day online program is planned for 12 May. Registrations close on 5 May.

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