Have you ever sat in a meeting with a question forming in your mind, then decided not to ask it?

Perhaps everyone else seemed to understand. Perhaps you worried the question was too basic. Perhaps you did not want to interrupt, challenge the direction, or appear negative.

So you stayed quiet.

Psychologists use the term impression management to describe the ways we try to influence how others perceive us. Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety shows how these concerns can shape whether we ask questions, acknowledge mistakes, offer ideas, or raise concerns.

At work, we want to appear competent, knowledgeable, helpful, and easy to work with.

That makes sense. Our professional reputation matters.

But the effort we put into managing impressions can also get in the way of learning.

We avoid asking questions because we do not want to appear ignorant. We hide mistakes because we do not want to appear incompetent. We withhold ideas because we do not want to seem intrusive. We stay silent about concerns because we do not want to be labelled negative or difficult.

The very strategies we use to protect our credibility can reduce our opportunity to learn, contribute and improve.

The pressure to look competent

In our sector, we place high value on competence.

We are accountable to clients, colleagues, organisations and professional standards. Decisions matter. Mistakes can have serious consequences. It is understandable that we want others to trust our judgement.

And as we become more experienced, the pressure can grow.

Once people see us as an expert, leader or experienced practitioner, saying “I don’t know” can feel even more exposing. We may start protecting the identity of being knowledgeable rather than remaining open to becoming more knowledgeable.

That is a subtle but important shift.

Learning asks something different of us. It asks us to tolerate the discomfort of not knowing, of being corrected, of discovering that our first interpretation may not be the best one.

Professional vulnerability is not about oversharing our personal lives or disclosing everything we feel.

It is about being willing to genuinely be a learner.

Safety changes what is possible

Of course, we need to be careful.

Not every workplace is psychologically safe.

Some people have been humiliated for asking questions, blamed for reporting mistakes, or labelled difficult for raising concerns. In these environments, impression management may be a very sensible form of self-protection.

We cannot ask people to speak more openly while ignoring the consequences they may face when they do.

Leaders and organisations carry a significant responsibility. It is not enough to say, “My door is always open” or “We welcome feedback.” People learn whether openness is truly welcome by watching what happens after someone takes the risk.

When a team member admits uncertainty, are they met with patience or irritation?
When someone identifies an error, does the conversation move towards learning or blame?
When a person questions a decision, are they treated as thoughtful or troublesome?

Psychological safety is shaped in those moments.

It is built through repeated experiences of people being able to ask, question, disagree, admit, and learn without being humiliated.

When an old protection remains

There is another layer to this.

Sometimes we move into a safer team, supervisory relationship or leadership role, but our old protective habits come with us.

We may still expect criticism, dismissal or judgement, even when the people around us have shown that they are trustworthy.

Our nervous system can be slower to recognise safety than our thinking mind.

This does not mean we should force ourselves to be vulnerable. It may mean experimenting gently.

Could you ask one genuine question in a meeting?
Could you say, “I’m not completely sure about this. What are others noticing?”
Could you acknowledge a small mistake before it becomes a larger problem?
Could you invite a colleague to challenge your thinking?

These are small interpersonal risks, but they create important opportunities for learning.

Using less energy to perform

Impression management takes energy.

We monitor what we say. We rehearse how we might sound. We conceal uncertainty. We try to anticipate how others will judge us.

All of this uses cognitive and emotional resources that could be directed towards reflection, curiosity and connection.

The shift is not from professionalism to carelessness.

It is from performing competence to practising competence.

Practising competence means continuing to develop our judgement, remaining open to feedback and recognising that expertise includes knowing the limits of our knowledge.

It means understanding that credibility is not only demonstrated through having answers. It is also demonstrated through asking thoughtful questions, correcting mistakes and learning openly.

A small practice

This week, notice one moment when you feel the urge to manage another person’s impression of you.

Pause and ask yourself:

What am I trying to protect?

Then consider:

Is there enough safety here for me to take a small learning risk?

The answer may sometimes be no. Context matters.

But when the answer is yes, perhaps you can loosen the protection just a little.

Ask the question.
Name the uncertainty.
Invite another perspective.

The goal is not to stop caring about how we are perceived. It is to ensure that protecting our image does not become more important than continuing to learn.

Because sage practice is not knowing everything.

It is having the courage and humility to continue becoming.

Want to read more…

In The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth, Amy Edmondson explores why people can remain silent even when they have valuable questions, concerns, or ideas to contribute. It provides a useful framework for understanding psychological safety and how leaders and teams can create environments where people are more able to speak up, acknowledge uncertainty, learn from mistakes, and contribute their thinking.