Your Inner Dialogue Shapes Your Outer Leadership
Last week I spoke with a passionate and enthusiastic group of speech pathologists who run or manage a private practice.
It was such a great inspiring evening, meeting with a group of such committed leaders.
It was evident that, like many of the groups I work with, self-leadership and our inner dialogue was not high on their radar. We are so busy being ‘attention out’, focussing on the needs of others, clients, colleagues, as well as our families and friends, that we easily overlook the critical link between how we lead ourselves and our capacity to lead others and how we optimise our performance at work.
Self leadership and our relationship with ourselves formed the basis of my presentation to this group and shaped the discussions throughout the evening.
One of the areas we spent time considering was how we speak to ourselves and the impact it has on the relationship we build with ourselves that can either support or undermine us.
Our inner dialogue is the foundation of self-leadership…… it influences our confidence, decision-making, and emotional resilience.
If it is overly critical, it can:
undermine your confidence, making it harder to take decisive action.
distract you from opportunities for growth and learning.
spill over into your interactions, creating a tense or guarded atmosphere.
However, when you cultivate a constructive, encouraging inner voice, you:
build self-trust.
recognise your own skills and strengths.
make decisions with greater confidence and clarity.
foster resilience so you can bounce back more quickly from setbacks.
build a more open, collaborative team culture by modelling the mindset you want your team to adopt.
The individuals who attended this evening engaged in a productive discussion about how we master this “self talk”.
Some of the key issues we discussed were:
Recognise negative patterns and pay attention to your self-talk
Are there recurring phrases that you say to your internal self that are overly self critical?
Common phrases may include:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I am letting everyone in my team down”
“I should do better in my business.”
Reframe this criticism as opportunity
Replace harsh statements, such as the ones above, with constructive questions.
e.g. instead of saying, “I failed at that,” ask, “What can I learn from this?”
Name your inner critic
Giving your negative voice a name (e.g., “Doubtful Donna”) can help you separate it from your identity, making it easier to challenge and redirect.
Focus on strengths and wins
The group spent some time discussing this very powerful strategy; it cultivates a positive inner voice and means you talk to yourself in a way that builds your confidence.
Spending a few moments each day keeping a record of 2-3 daily successes, no matter how small reinforces positive thinking. Review these comments every so often as this will help balance the brain’s natural negativity bias.
As a leader and practice owner, recognising and articulating strengths in yourself also has the added benefit of helping you identify others’ strengths.
It is so powerful to lead with the voice you want to hear and treat yourself how you treat the people around you. By fostering a positive, supportive inner voice, you set the stage for more confident, intentional, and effective leadership as well as develop and maintain a robust and psychologically safe workplace.
I love to speak to groups such as the one above to support the development of self leadership skills. Practical strategies to master “self talk” are also a key element of my leadership training and will support you to lead yourself, and ultimately your team, well.
If you are in Melbourne on 14 and 15 July, I am running my 2 day course on leadership in-person. I also regularly run online leadership courses for emerging and experienced leaders. See Leadership Development workshop.
I am also able to customise my leadership training for your workplace and my “in house” programs can be delivered either online or in person. More details about my leadership programs can be found at Leadership Development programs.
Upcoming public training programs
relevant previous newsletters you may be interested in…
Self-leadership is the ability to take ownership of one’s role, behaviour, wellbeing and impact. It is about being reflective, not reactive. Proactive, not passive.